


The Guide Suggests.... (And Other Bad Ideas)

by Gildedmuse



Series: 12 Drunken Drabbles [12]
Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Genre: Challenge Response, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Drinking, Guide Entry, Humor, M/M, Rebecca Reference, The Guide - Freeform, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Has This To Say About Unbeta'd Fic...., We're Going To Die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 03:17:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18651790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gildedmuse/pseuds/Gildedmuse
Summary: A series of four drabbles, all of which focus on Arthur and Ford.





	The Guide Suggests.... (And Other Bad Ideas)

**Author's Note:**

> [The first one if these was originally posted to LJ in 2009 as part of an attempt to do a "12 Days Of Fandom" challenge. Each of the 12 story is a different fandom but has a similar theme: Drinking.
> 
> The last three were from 2005 and are about Arthur/Ford generally.]

**The Guide Suggests…**

It’s a well known fact that alcohol is wonderful for solving certain problems.  
  
Oh, it might not be the solution offered up by psychiatrists, doctors, or the snotty Encyclopedia Galaxia, but let us tell you, for certain things there is nothing that works quicker than a drink. The only question is of what.  
  
For instance, if you are attempting to convincing a particular ape-based life form that seeing as his planet has been recently demolished he need not worry about social constructs such as, for example, pants than personally this guide researcher suggests whiskey. It worked well for him, anyway. 

 

* * *

 

**Why Arthur Likes Walls**

****  
_The guide has this to say on the wall:_  
  
Walls keep things in and out. That’s about it. Now, if you want to see some really froody walls -  
  
And goes on to talk about alcohol.  
  
Arthur was in love with walls. They worked perfectly. They kept all the wrong things out – like Vogans and missiles and Marvin’s constant complaining.  
  
More importantly, they kept things in. Like Ford when he particularly drunk or tired and didn’t want to go through the maze of walls to his own room so just stayed in Arthur’s bed for the night.  
  
Fantastic inventions, the wall.  
  
 ****

* * *

**Up Against A Wall And A Hard Place**

****  
“Hurry! This way!”  
  
Turn a corner. Quick prayer. Keep running.  
  
Stop.  
  
“It’s a wall.”  
  
Trapped.  
  
“Yes, well. Obviously.”  
  
Gunfire. Yelling. Over there. Get them. Hurry.  
  
“Ford?”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“We’re going to die, aren’t we?”  
  
“No, of course not. Just… Just give me a second to think.”  
  
More yelling. Less time. Running out. Can’t run.  
  
“Ford?”  
  
No answer. Eyes meet. Something. Don’t make me say it.  
  
Closing in. Minutes left.  
  
“I….”  
  
Stumble. Unsure. Going to die. Seconds left.  
  
“We’re going to die.”  
  
Hands on clothes. Back against a wall. Sudden chill. Lips on skin on lips. Uncontrollable, comforting heat.  
  
“Ford?”  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
 ****

* * *

**Never Liked Manderley, Anyway**

****  
Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again. Then I remembered that there was no Manderley because there was no Earth. It been destroyed so that some alien creatures could get to Point A to Point C without stopping at Point B – my planet - to do so.  
  
So I rolled over, ready think about Tea and McDonalds and trying to keep the memories alive and instead found a nice, warm body with it’s arms wrapped around me much more comforting the a cup of bloody hot liquid made from leafs.  
  
Besides, I never have been to Manderley, anyway.


End file.
